liberation

lib·er·a·tion
ˌlibəˈrāSH(ə)n/
noun
noun: liberation; plural noun: liberations

•the act of setting someone free from imprisonment, slavery, or oppression; release.

•freedom from limits on thought or behavior.


The past year of my life was a bit of a mess and a whole lot of turmoil that I never wish I had gone through but know that I would not be the strong person that I am today. Even on days that I don’t feel strong and put together I know that I can make it through because I made it through the last year. I survived a year of a one way relationship full of my own constant heart break. To look at the definition of liberation I look at the second part, “Freedom from limits on through or behavior.” I was so limited that I even started to doubt achieving my dream at any cost. I started settling for less then what I wanted to achieve and what I deserve. I will not ever accept that again.

I will always celebrate my liberation because I also get to celebrate the love that has come from it.

Positivity Friday: 8

“Believe you can & you’re halfway there.” – T.Roosevelt

The amazing thing about my life is my depression used to make me immobile. It used to incapacitate my ambition. It killed me body and soul. But the best part of my life now is that I no long feel that way when I’m depressed. The best thing now is thatI believe I can do better, I believe I’m going to be successful, and my ambition and faith keeps me going.


Gratitude Journal:

  1. A great new haircut that helps me feel lighter.
  2. A wonderful week of watching the new Batman Trilogy.
  3. Quality times with my mother!

Nothing this week that seems too important to other people but are very healthy positive vibes for me.

Others, Class, and Pants

Some things on my mind.

Talking to others:

Some times people like to talk to you like you are a dog. I don’t get why people fell this is a necessary tactic when addressing other people. I recently had someone of “authority” hold something in my face and say; “No! NO! No, No, No! NO! You can’t do this.” I’m sorry but was it extremely necessary of you to talk to me like a stray defiant dog? I hardly want to talk to my dogs that way let alone another human.

Class:

“I wouldn’t do that, I’ve got class.” When a girl would like to take her pictures in front of taco bell my only question is why is it anyone else’s business where this girl took her pictures? Why does that mean she has no class? There are plenty of things back in high school that I would now consider pretty ridiculous but back then I though was the cats pajamas. So what does it matter what some high school girl though was a good idea for her senior pictures? And how dare someone say that the reason they didn’t make that decision was because they had “more class.” Gross. Horrible Horrible person.

Wearing Pants:

I fucking hate wearing pants? They are always tight, They always shrink, and they are super hot. So when I get home I take them straight off and I do not replace them. So every day that I have someone tell me to wear pants. Why do I have to wear pants? Why do I have to cover myself up in the least bit. I have nothing to be ashamed of. If what makes me comfortable is not wearing pants then I won’t wear them. It’s not that I’m going to walk around in the complete nude. That wouldn’t make me comfortable. But what would is wearing no pants and a t-shirt. So thats what I do. Why do men get to walk around in their underwear and no shirt day in and day out with no person ever telling them what to do. DAMN IT.

Positivity Friday: 7

“She was free in her wildness. She was a wanderess, a drop of free water. She belonged to no man and no city.” – Roman Payne


Gratitude Journal:

  1. Kayaking with one of my best friends.
  2. Running away from stress with my Partner.
  3. Getting an amazingly good grade on my second semester summer course.

You need something more “CUTE”…

…or as I like to say, “FUCK YOU.”

Some days I get extremely bored with myself. SO,  I wanted to change my name for the day and picked out Dez. It is the name of a girl I know of from back home who emulates everything that I wish I were strong enough to be. She has pierced cheeks and the short hair that looks so liberating. She is tattooed and wears what ever the hell she wants to despite what the world expects woman to wear.

So I choose Dez for the day to instant rejection from a fellow coworker. It apparently isn’t a “cute” enough name and I should go for something far “cuter” like “Brittany.”

My reaction is literally a little something like. . .

WHAT THE LITERAL FUCK.

I do not ever go through life hoping that I can get something “cute,” do something “cute,” wear something “cute,” or be called something “cute.”

I am not here for that garbage. I am here to kick ass and take a couple names. I am here to live my life freely to the beat of my own heart not the electric strumming of some societal heart. Do not treat me like a something to be put on a shelf.

I have once been told that swearing shows a complete lack of intelligence. However, let me tell you how sometimes there is no better word then Fuck to express your anger with someone.

As a future doctor I certainly would appreciate it if you don’t treat me like a dim witted, lack of intelligence, moral-less, easy to get bimbo. I an here to dominate the world. I will do that named Symantha, Fox, Dez, Furiosa, or even Brittany. But do not tell me that I need to pick something “Cute.”

Again, Do not try to control that which you can only follow.

respect

When trying to live my life as an independent woman I’ve discovered that trying to show a man that my dignity matters to me and that I do not appreciate cat calls has it’s struggles. The main struggle being that they do not give a shit if I want to be respected as a human being. They just see me as a piece of ass and it’s incredibly frustrating. How do we change these mindsets that it’s not okay to treat women like this?

I’ve heard the argument that I don’t deserve respect because “Respect is Earned NOT Given.” To this I say, No sir. My reasoning? We all deserve a general respect because we are human and each are individual to one another. We all have feelings, thoughts, and behaviors and a general respect is actually deserved. However, I do agree that when a person oversteps their boundries and proves that they are no longer worthy of that general baseline respect then they don’t in face deserve it any longer. There is also a respect that is earned and I hold it completely seperate from that of what I’m asking. I want men and woman to not look at each other as object to gather like a pokemon. I want them to be curtious to each other and repect that they have feelings and thoughts about themselves that they don’t wish for you to piss on without even having the curtiousy to call it rain. 

Please to not comment on my body. Please do not whistle at me. Please do not tell me that I’m sexy.  I really just don’t appreciate that. I’m an intellectual and want to be treated thusly.