Female Privilege

Female Privilege, a concept that has come to my attention. It’s thought that women have privilege because we are offered free cab rides, free drink offers, and free ya-da-so-on offers. Here I am, struggling to understand how this qualifies as privilege. So men feel that we are privileged because they feel we “desire” their showing of offers? I don’t get this. We never asked for these offers but due to our sex we are a target for this so-called generosity. I hope men everywhere that our sex does not beg for these gifs, we don’t ask for the lack of safety in our public lives, and we certainly  didn’t ask for the marketing of our reproductive organs.

?Female Privilege is not a thing.

Subtle

I suppose that there is some kind of skill set that I wasn’t born with or every honed for myself in which people practice being subtle. I am not subtle. I am loud and in your face. I am a load of passion mixed with unmanaged enthusiasm. I am the girl your parents warned you about.

Why? Because we are taught not to defend ourselves. We are taught to fake it till we make it. We are taught that that is the way it is. Every jobs sucks, people are always going to be mean, your professor will always be unfair to you, and the person you are is not the person people want to see.

Well, sorry folks, for some strange reason I was gifted with the ability to defend injustices as I see them. I spent a lot of my formative years in detention as a result. I have a few close knit friendships rather then an abundance of acquaintances. I will not allow someone to treat me as less then I am. I fight tooth and nail for the education I receive. I write letters to deans and encourage students to fight for better education as well. I admire the professors that are strict and intellectual rather then the ones that provide “easy A’s.” And these same personality traits are exemplified in my work place.

I do not accept less. I expect more.

 

liberation

lib·er·a·tion
ˌlibəˈrāSH(ə)n/
noun
noun: liberation; plural noun: liberations

•the act of setting someone free from imprisonment, slavery, or oppression; release.

•freedom from limits on thought or behavior.


The past year of my life was a bit of a mess and a whole lot of turmoil that I never wish I had gone through but know that I would not be the strong person that I am today. Even on days that I don’t feel strong and put together I know that I can make it through because I made it through the last year. I survived a year of a one way relationship full of my own constant heart break. To look at the definition of liberation I look at the second part, “Freedom from limits on through or behavior.” I was so limited that I even started to doubt achieving my dream at any cost. I started settling for less then what I wanted to achieve and what I deserve. I will not ever accept that again.

I will always celebrate my liberation because I also get to celebrate the love that has come from it.

Others, Class, and Pants

Some things on my mind.

Talking to others:

Some times people like to talk to you like you are a dog. I don’t get why people fell this is a necessary tactic when addressing other people. I recently had someone of “authority” hold something in my face and say; “No! NO! No, No, No! NO! You can’t do this.” I’m sorry but was it extremely necessary of you to talk to me like a stray defiant dog? I hardly want to talk to my dogs that way let alone another human.

Class:

“I wouldn’t do that, I’ve got class.” When a girl would like to take her pictures in front of taco bell my only question is why is it anyone else’s business where this girl took her pictures? Why does that mean she has no class? There are plenty of things back in high school that I would now consider pretty ridiculous but back then I though was the cats pajamas. So what does it matter what some high school girl though was a good idea for her senior pictures? And how dare someone say that the reason they didn’t make that decision was because they had “more class.” Gross. Horrible Horrible person.

Wearing Pants:

I fucking hate wearing pants? They are always tight, They always shrink, and they are super hot. So when I get home I take them straight off and I do not replace them. So every day that I have someone tell me to wear pants. Why do I have to wear pants? Why do I have to cover myself up in the least bit. I have nothing to be ashamed of. If what makes me comfortable is not wearing pants then I won’t wear them. It’s not that I’m going to walk around in the complete nude. That wouldn’t make me comfortable. But what would is wearing no pants and a t-shirt. So thats what I do. Why do men get to walk around in their underwear and no shirt day in and day out with no person ever telling them what to do. DAMN IT.

the Whistle

Today I am pouring myself a sweet glass of Captain Morgan Perfect Stock and Coke and venting ever so slightly. Here’s the thing gentleman and I’m going to try to say it as plainly as I possible can.

Do Not, you may have missed that bit, DO NOT Whistle at me. I am not a piece of ass that you can claim. I am not easy to get girl whose knees crumble as soon as you treat her cheap. I am a hard working woman that thrives for success and demands respect. YOU do not have the right, again you may have missed that bit, YOU do not HAVE THE RIGHT, to treat me like an animal you have some claim over.

After this disgusting display of manhood I wanted to binge eat chips and reduce my property value. I shouldn’t have to wish ugliness or weight onto myself so that men will leave me alone. Men should just leave me alone.

If you want to compliment me please use your words. Tell me that I’m beautiful. Tell me that you admire my ambition or intellect. Tell me you aspire to have my motivation. But DO NOT, whistle at me like a dog.

I am a human being not an animal. I am a partner not property.

I’m a cool fucking cat again cat calls.

Wild: 

Wild, An untameable creature. What am I? Am I something that can be well defined? Am I something that makes little to no sense? What am I? I feel like sometimes there are so many facets to who I am and at other times I am absolutely void of any degree of depth. 

Wild

adjective

1. (of an animal or plant) living or growing in the natural environment; not domesticated or cultivated.

2. uncontrolled or urestrained, especially in pursuit of pleasure. 

Aren’t we all in some way wild? I have defenitely evolved into an entirely new creature since the month and a half prior. Something grew and changed inside me that erupted into this entirely fierce person that knows what she wants and strives for the things that she longs for. I think in all definitions, in all languages, in all images it has ever been portrayed in what I discoveded was true and unadulterated love. 

Love, not for another human being in any sense. I mean, I’m in a relationship and I’m completely happy and safe in it, so please don’t misunderstand. I am in love with the person that lives inside of me. ME. I am strong and determined. Every day there are trials and sometimes it gets really hard to deal with. The real trick in my evolution is that I am dealing. I am taking life’s punches, I’m getting knocked down, and I’m losing myself at times. Isn’t that half of the crazy journey. I’ve also discovered great beauty. In these past few weeks I’ve learned to laugh. I’m talking about gut rumbling, ab creating, out or breath and out of mind laughing. I’ve begun creating again which I lost a long time ago. I see beauty in the little things and allow comfort in situations that normally would throw me into a anxiety attack. One of my favorite quotes is the Spanish Proverb:

“A Life Lived in Fear is a Life Half Lived.” 

As the great Kurt Vonnegut says, “So it goes.” I’m living again. 

Decovering this love for myself has also left me wanting more, striving for more, dealing with more, and hoping for more. The daily fight doesn’t keep me down but rrather further motivates me to prove myself. To continue to tread where people tell me no to go or maybe that I don’t belong. I am choosing the path in which my life will take and if people aren’t on board then they are not coming with. 

For wild people the beauty of our journey is that there is going to be someone there that will encourage, motivate, and inspire us to move further and reach so much higher. 

So why are we settling for someone or something less then we deserve. We need to own our wants, our desires, our pursuit of pleasure.