you have grown inside me
spread like a weed
wrapping yourself around the parts of me
that tried to let go
now i suffocate
thinking about all that could have been
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i hope one day
you get the love
you never took from me
i hope one day
you get the love
you deserve.
i bet sex with you
is like breathing
is like finding what life means
is like knowing what love
truly is
you enter my mind
i directly asked you not too
and i think, for a moment
that it will keep happening
because i never told you
i’ll always love you
and that’ll be with me till i die.
i am scared
solitary in my own mind
scared to know what it would be like
to grab hold of you and love you
i am scared
my favorite function of our love
is that the desperate pit of loneliness
the crawling spikes of self-hatred
that traveled up my spine and stabbed my heart
has disappeared in the strike of the moment
that i laid eyes on you.
Dancing, she told us…
I read an amazing quote today out of Manifesta: Young woman, feminism, and the future by Jennifer Baumgardener and Amy Richards.
“Dancing, she told us, had become a way to express the rage she felt toward her dependent husband, her emotionally manipulative ex-lover, and herself for continuing to let these men lead when they were capable only of following.”
After getting out of two horribly oppressive relationships I can relate to this immensely so. I like the power behind the statement. It puts air in my lungs. I just want to take on the world. I will never allow a man to take the lead ever again. There should be equality in every relationship, not necessarily monetary but rather supportive and emotional. I will not follow.
I really don’t want to move further with this post but just allow that quotation to really absorb into you.
Citation:
Baumgardner, J., & Richards, A. (2000). Manifesta: Young women, feminism, and the future. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
